Yesterday's topic on aging is just the tip for me. As I get older I think of people everyday who came thru my life and are just not there anymore. I sometimes think this is the reason so many people believe in religion. Maybe you know the feeling? Your very soul craves for the comfort and nearness of another. It is in the deepest part of you. Or maybe you don't. I know religion is not the answer for me. I can't rationalize a faceless something. I do not fear whatever end comes tho, as I realize when it does, many of my questions will be answered. In one way or another :)
This song sums it up simply. The past is gone by and I can't rewind.
Why do all these people come thru your life, like so many cars on the freeway. Just to pass by, never to be seen again? I don't get it. Or believe it. They all leave an imprint, something that makes you think about them again. A certain song, a smell, an inanimate object that you keep in a junk drawer.
It's a strange thing to walk thru life hoping and praying (for some of you) to find a soul that you're soul completely surrenders to. So in love with this person that you would walk through hell to be with. Just so, maybe even for a short while, you can be together. And when your with this person....your soul seems to 'rest'.
Fact is we encounter these people daily. We are just too blind by these dreams and hopes to see it. It really, really is a shame. And one of the worse things about it, you don't realize this til you get older, til it's gone. You've missed the opportunity and you wish it back. Over and over, we wish life away, then wish it back.
Such is the Human condition.
I had to add this vid because first it's awesome and second it fits :)
I feel I am older then my age and thus, wiser too :)
ReplyDeleteKLR, you are one of the lucky ones then. Most of us wander around for a long time with our eyes closed.
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree people are like cars on a highway, I think friends are more like the ones that stop and give you a lift. Some rides a short and without much to see, while others take you down a long and winding road. There may be bumps and occasional pit stops, heck you may find yourself stuck in traffic.
ReplyDeleteSure you sometimes find yourself trying to go back the way you came but the road is different as is the traffic. So what to do?
I suppose you enjoy the ride.
I thank anyone who was kind enough to pick up this lone hitchhiker and travel him anywhere. They didn't have to stop, they didn't have to invite me in, they chose to. If anything age teaches us to stop thinking about "Me" and start thanking "Them"
Sure I wish there were some cars still here, I'd love to Bo Duke through a window and take another trip, but alas that was then and this is now. And I look around and there are some hot rods I've yet to journey in, a few more highways and back roads to travel. Who knows perhaps 10 years from now those rides will be gone, replaced with the newest model. And whose to say I won't enjoy those trips as well.
I suppose the moral is simply don't sweat it, enjoy it. The past is the past and the only reason you remember and miss it was because it was so much fun. Weird how we weren't worried about the farther back past while we were creating the past we romance over.
There was a moment during last years Superbowl party when I simply stood back and took it all in. All the people who joined me, all the people I wished were there, and all the people who would never be there again. It was a deep moment, but it was my moment. You could say I breathed it in.
P.S. I hope I'm not a smell you remember.
No, not a smell...a drink....flaming dr. pepper shots. :)
ReplyDeleteThat flaming Dr Pepper was the last thing I remember from that night! What an idiot I was then. I am there with you on this post and I like Red's analysis of your blog. I am romantic about the past and perhaps too romantic. I catch myself saying, "Back in the good old days." But were they really the good old days? I didnt think so at the time perhaps. I am starting to realize time is flying by so fast and Im getting older and sometimes I get a little anxiety about it. Whats the quote from the Watchmen? "Every day, the future looks a little bit darker. But the past... even the grimy parts of it... keep on getting brighter." I need to not think that way but sometimes I do. Relationships change so drastically over time its insane to think of how close I was to certain people that are now almost complete strangers. You take from them though. Little pieces of their personality or their likes/dislikes become part of yours. Like we are all Rogue from X-Men. I affiliate almost every song I hear with a certain time and can probably tell you a story about everyone it makes me think of. Same goes for food and or any object in my room. As I write this "All Apologies" is playing in the background and it makes me remember being a teenager in NY and all the faces of my friends whom I considered as close as family stick out in my mind. I had an epiphany though the other day. When I was losing weight a year ago I used thoughts of a skinnier Chad as motivation. I remember thinking I wish I could go back and tell skinny Chad to stay skinny. Got down to 250 pounds. I was so happy about just that. Then I turned right around and put it all back on. Now I find myself wishing I could talk to Chad from a year ago. Wait a minute! Ive been me all this time! I dont need to go back in time to talk to anyone. And all the people that were here and meant something to me are now part of my collection of toys in my imagination. I need to motivate myself! I need to dwell more of the good things I did while riding in those cars with those friends and family members. I hit 30 this year and I really have been doing a lot of thinking about this topic. Sorry I had so much to say. "Wicked Game" makes me think of you, Tammie.
ReplyDeleteWicked Games, how funny. My go to song for karaoke. That song also has a part in my soul, some of it explains me, my life and people I have taken into my life and maybe hurt. Shit, can't go back, right?
ReplyDeleteI agree with you're Rogue theory, totally. :)
And I don't have a song that reminds me of you but a character (and I hope you take this in the positive way I mean it), you, Chad, remind me of a kinder, sensitive Wolverine. You look like this big mean guy but your wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. Does that make sense, lol. Anyway, you are one of my favorite people and I am glad your cousin introduced us. :)
Tam Tam tells Chadwick he reminds her of Wolverine, the snikt sound from Chads pants can be heard world wide.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA Snikt*!! That is the best compliment. And thats how I try and model myself so I guess mission accomplished.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA Snikt*!! That is the best compliment. And thats how I try and model myself so I guess mission accomplished.
ReplyDelete